i love the fact that like… if you wanted to you could throw a chair… stool…. lamp… medium sized houseplant… even a lightweight table…. theres nothing physically stopping you from throwing furniture around, only social constructs and your own cowardice.

also i got a tiny rubber baby for 95¢

my son

Who is going to tell men that repeating phrases from popular television shows and hating female celebrities isn’t a personality

Bazinga

Highly cursed yet perfect comment

abt me: glowing, eating peaches drinking wine in lingerie, not texting ur desperate ass back

Abt me: acne on my chin, eating an unflavored rice cake in the dress I wore yesterday , reading thru texts my ex sent me a year ago

• the ‘im sorry you must be level 4 to unlock my tragic backstory’ guy
  

• ‘i’m here to pay for my wedding to my gf who i dedicate this burnt omlette to’ guy
  

• the girl one
  

• ‘im italian i come from an italian family and i eat, breathe and shit ravioli’ 
  

make your own foot scrub

1. feet are pretty hard to make
   
2. dont call me a scrub ever again
   

white boys be like “im gonna make you come so hard” and ur like, what to my senses